


Medicate

by The_Fennec_Wolf



Series: Aux Crew Writing Club Prompts [Monthly Prompts] [1]
Category: Shield of Tomorrow (Webseries)
Genre: Backstory, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Pre-Stream Backstory, Prompt: Lyrical Inspiration, Shield of Tomorrow Monthly Prompt, USS Sally Ride Aux Crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 16:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13744617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fennec_Wolf/pseuds/The_Fennec_Wolf
Summary: Sometimes, there's no good way to deal with loss---Or in which Verdi struggles with the aftermath of her first away mission.(Trigger Warning for self harm/ self injurious behavior)





	Medicate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The USS Sally Ride Aux Crew Writing Club](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+USS+Sally+Ride+Aux+Crew+Writing+Club).



“Well Crewman Fillian, your report matches the other reports I received from the survivors of Away Team Delta. As per Counselor Resnick and Doctor Mantello’s recommendations, I am putting you on leave for the next two weeks. During this time, you are to report to Counselor Resnick’s office for a once a day session and a psychological evaluation before you return to active duty on the U.S.S Dracro.” Verdi looked up at her captain, an Andorian named Rahl Th'vivik, as he finished speaking, putting down the datapad. 

“Crewman Fillian?” His voice cut through the fog that clouded her brain, causing her to sit up a little straighter. 

“Sir?” 

“Did you hear what I said or do I need to repeat myself?” If she didn’t know better, she would say he was upset with her lack of response. But having served under the man for six months, the medic could tell that his gruffness hid the concern the man held for all his crew. 

“I did, sir. Am I dismissed sir?” She asked, keeping her voice as even as she could, trying to push away images of blood covering her hands and a desperate gurgle as a human face stared at her in terror. The medic didn’t flinch under the hard stare that the captain gave her as he let out a growl. 

“Fine, dismissed Crewman.” With a nod, she stood up and saluted. 

“Sir.” Verdi kept her steps controlled as she left, fighting the urge to flee the room. Once the doors closed behind her, she let herself slump grateful that no one was around to see her lose control like this. Pressing her hand against her mouth, she muffled her sobs, trying to get herself under control. The young woman forced herself to walk forward to the turbo pad and nearly collapsed inside of it. 

“H-Ho-Ho-Holo-Holodeck Three.” The words came out in between sobs as she closed her eyes, letting the turbo lift carry her to her destination. 

“Holodeck Three.” She heard the monotone voice of the ship’s computer announce. The medic was grateful that no one was around as she stumbled into the Holodeck. Verdi let herself finally cry after locking the door behind her. The sobs ripped from her throat as tears streamed down her face. Her fists banged against the floor as her grief and frustration blended together, fueling her attack upon the ground. The petty officer shouldn’t have died. ‘None of her away team should’ve died!’ Her mind screamed as wails of rage and sorrow echoed around her. 

Verdi finally stopped, feeling pain overtake the emotional whirlwind inside of her. Looking down at her hands, the medic could see that they were bruised and her knuckles were blooded. Clenching them, she watched with a morbid fascination as drops of blood joined the smears she left on the holodeck floor. After several moments, Verdi stood up and spoke. 

“Computer, run Security Program Alpha-Beta Seven. Increase difficulty to level three.” She watched as the holodeck shimmered as there were a series of beeps acknowledging her request. In front of her appeared four armed Romulans all of them snarling at her. Moving into a fighting stance, she motioned for them. 

“Come and get me assholes.” With that, they rushed towards her. 

It was an hour later that she hobbled out of the holodeck. Verdi’s body was covered in bruises and she could feel the blood from her nose drying against her chin. Yet, she wasn’t focused on the pain, only the sense of satisfaction of numbness that pain brought her. With a limp, she entered the turbo lift, grateful for the relief that the painful numbness brought her. Verdi prayed she’d be able to sleep without nightmares tonight as she made her way towards her room, letting the numbness take her into a brief moment of peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Well...I'm in the mood for angst apparently. Thanks to the Aux Crew Writing Club (and Anne our Prompt Master for this month) for the prompt and drive to start writing again.


End file.
